My ultimate goal in life has been a difficult one to decipher. I say decipher because some part of me believes that it is something to be discovered, not necessarily created. I'm not opposed to creating meaning from thin air either, though if it is possible, it is unbelievably difficult.
But it all becomes most clear when I experience something that is beautiful. A beautiful piece of music, a weighty cinematic moment, or a sublime moment of clarity. All of these things stem from witnessing something and comprehending that there is, without a single doubt, an entire world that exists outside yourself. And even further, because you see that it exists outside of you, you then exist as something in and of yourself. And you see it. And by its nature, it can only be a glimpse because it is bigger and more beautiful than you can currently comprehend. Accepting that, feeling it in your bones to be more true than anything ever could be, is a moment of awe.
And awe is all I seek.
There is a trope of the person who looks at some masterpiece of art on the wall and is suddenly moved to tears at its beauty. This is a trope for a reason, and it's because some people really do get moved to that point of emotional swell. I cannot tell you if this behavior is but the fragmented machinations of a mind moved by its own madness or if there really is something there that stirs the soul, but I will tell you I believe the latter. And further, I believe that this thing that stirs the soul can be found anywhere, in anything at all. It is easier to see in some things more than others, though. Take the pyramids of Giza. Or any of the Seven Wonders. These are wonders for what they evoke in the mind. Seemingly impossible structures constructed by people with a vision. Or take the grand views atop a cliff which overfloweth water into a pond below, bristling with life. People are just as moved by the beauty they find in nature as well. But as the pieces of creation we humans make evolve, as our art becomes more refined through the ever-evolving tools and ideas we have at our disposal, we make more and more nuanced wonders. Paintings that capture struggle, persistence, and desperation. Structures that invoke a sense of clever engineering, scientific possibility, and unnatural geometry.
These more nuanced pieces of art reveal to us that there is more to be revealed about ourselves.
When I see what it is that they have created, I want to know what they see that I don't. I want to know what they hear that I don't. I want to know what they feel that I don't. I want to know who they are that I am not. And it isn't enough just knowing it or being able to put it into words that make sense to me. It is feeling what they feel when they are caught in the throes of their passions. It is seeing the eye of the storm that is their flow state.
We often laugh at those who take seemingly trivial things with great passion, especially when those things are far removed from our understanding/relation to theirs. It's easy to understand those passionate about music, let's say. But what about those passionate about particle physics, early Irish literature, or qualia of color? These topics are more difficult to feel any relation to the evocation of strong emotions. Don't let anyone devalue your passion. Any who do are merely acting upon a defense mechanism spawned from a lack of recognizing one's own passions and the empathy that caring so deeply about anything inspires.
Now, I say all this in having once been critical of the passions of others myself. I did not always appreciate the glee and love wrought from the unbridled expression of what others loved. And to this day, I still don't appreciate all I should, though I truly try. Internally I was as Dostoevsky's Underground Man: heavy with internal dialogue attempting to justify my own passions over theirs, touting my intellectual understanding over their irrational, passionate one, spurning those of whom they spread their zeal. I presumed through some psychic projection that if I tried to do the same, I would be apprehended as annoying, uninteresting, or otherwise ignored. And while that may be true at times, it is never a reason not to pick up the joy others try to impart. This was a hard lesson won. But once understood, granted me the insight to enjoy other's enjoyments, celebrate their victories, and revel in their accomplishments. This realization forever altered my outlook on friendships and my path forward in life.
All this to say, when you meet your friends again, meet them with joy, and wonder out loud what they've accomplished. Pull out from them the things you know will light up their hearts and beckon everyone to do the same. This is the stuff of camaraderie. Seek to see what it is they see, hear what it is they hear, and feel what it is they feel. Bring out in them the very best. There's not a single reason not to.
I wrote this just before I wrote my public article "Your Last Obsession" and it honestly was inspired by what you're about to find here. So go check it out afterward if you haven't.
I'd like to think this spoke to you on some level. If it did, consider staying subscribed and tuned in for more to come. Please reach out if you ever want to talk. I'm glad you're here.
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